Escape to Comfort: WoodSpring Suites Frederick I-70 - Your MD Getaway!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the… shall we call it… "unique charm" of WoodSpring Suites Frederick I-70. Or, as they cheekily brand it, your "MD Getaway!" Let me tell you, I needed a getaway. Like, desperately. Between the screaming kid in the grocery store and that email from my boss that just kept going… I was ready to run for the hills. So, Frederick, Maryland it was! And WoodSpring, well, it was the only game in town with an open room and a pulse. So, here's the lowdown, warts and all. Buckle up, you've been warned.
Accessibility: (Let's be real, this part's important!)
Okay, first things first. Accessibility. They do have some options. They proudly tout "Facilities for disabled guests" which is a good starting point. Though the actual implementation can always be questionable. You’ll need confirm directly about stuff like wheelchair accessibility - I didn't take a wheelchair, so I can't give you the lowdown. But they say they want to help, that's vital. Look, a place that at least thinks about it gets points from me. But definitely call ahead. Don't show up expecting miracles, alright?
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges, Wheelchair accessible:
…Right. Nope, I didn't see any of that. It's more of a "get your groceries, get back to your room, you're on your own" kind of vibe.
Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet services, Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!, Wi-Fi in public areas:
Okay, this is important! We are on the internet, people! Wifi worked well. No, I didn't try plugging in that old LAN wire I seem to pack everywhere. Free wifi in my room meant I could binge-watch (a necessity after that email). Wifi in public areas was a bit… spotty. But hey, I wasn't there to socialize, just survive. I'd say the Free Wi-Fi in all rooms is a HUGE plus – especially if you, like me, are tethered to your screen for work, news, and the crushing realization that you're not as productive as you think.
Things to do, ways to relax, Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]:
LOL. Okay, so, "ways to relax" is… staying in your room and pretending the outside world doesn't exist. I doubt there is anything here, it is a place to rest your weary head. Fitness center? I think I saw a room that might have had some equipment, but I honestly didn't venture in. I was on a mission: Netflix and… well, more Netflix. Pool? Nope. Spa? Buddy, you're thinking of the wrong place. If you're looking for that level of pampering, go for a four-star hotel. Although, escaping from life is relaxing.
Cleanliness and safety:
Here comes the good and the not-so-good.
Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: Okay, this is where WoodSpring sort of tries to shine. I saw hand sanitizer everywhere, which is a massive thumbs up. I think they mentioned using some anti-viral stuff, but honestly, I didn't see anyone actually doing much disinfecting. My room looked clean, but… you know how it is. The "rooms sanitized between stays" made me feel a little better. I chose to ignore all notions of them 'opting out' of sanitizing. Honestly, better to be a little paranoid than dead, right?
Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit: They did have a first aid kit, which is nice for a small place. I have zero need for medical help, but I like that they have it.
Cashless payment service, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Shared stationery removed: Cashless payment is the way. I like it.
Room sanitization opt-out available: Look, I didn't opt out, but I would ask about how that works!
Dining, drinking, and snacking:
Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service, Alternative meal arrangement, Bottle of water:
Breakfast? Yeah, that’s a big NEGATIVE. Absolutely nothing. Unless you count the coffee machine, which was a godsend and a half. The bottle of water was a nice gesture, I suppose. Plan on grabbing your own food.
A la carte in restaurant, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Bar, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant: Yeah, they have none of this. Okay, there might be a vending machine, but I didn't look. Don’t expect a culinary adventure. This is a "grab and go" kind of town.
Services and conveniences:
Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center:
This is where the "convenience" part gets dicey. Contactless check-in/out was a bonus, especially after a long drive. If you hate talking to people, this is a great thing. Daily housekeeping: They mostly followed through here. Housekeeping was decent. Elevator – yes! That's a win for anyone with luggage. Laundry service? No, you’re on your own. This is a "self-service" kind of place. The rest? Forget it. No gift shop, no doorman, no on-site event hosting. You're on your own.
For the kids:
Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal:
Nope. Not even a whiff. Bring your own entertainment for the little ones. This is more for a solo traveler - or someone trying to escape the kids.
Access:
CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private], Couple's room, Exterior corridor, Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour], Hotel chain, Non-smoking rooms, Pets allowed unavailablePets allowed, Proposal spot, Room decorations, Safety/security feature, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms, Soundproof rooms:
- CCTV? Probably. I mean, they should have it.
- Check-in/out [express]? Yep, definitely. Quick and easy. Which is great if you're dying to get in and out.
- Front desk [24-hour]? Yes, but I didn't use it.
- Non-smoking rooms? Pretty sure.
- Exterior corridor? Yep. You walk straight into your room from the outside. Not ideal for security but it is what it is.
- Safety/security feature? I would hope so.
- Security [24-hour]? I didn't see any armed guards, but the front desk is always there.
Available in all rooms:
- **Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens
Okay, buckle up, buttercup. This ain’t your perfectly sculpted travel brochure. This is…well, this is my trip to the WoodSpring Suites in Frederick, Maryland, and it's gonna be a glorious, slightly chaotic mess. Prepare for (allegedly) human travel!
WoodSpring Suites Frederick I-70: My Existential Retreat (and Pizza Consumption Marathon)
Day 1: Arrival and the Dreaded Hotel Room Assessment
1:00 PM - 2:00 PM: The Treacherous Journey: Alright, so the drive from… wherever I was before… was brutal. Traffic. Rain. My brain was screaming for silence. I'd booked this place because: a) it was cheap, b) it had a fridge (crucial for leftover pizza, duh), and c) I needed to be AWAY. I'd like to think I'm a well-adjusted individual, but sometimes a hotel room is the only salvation I can find.
* Anecdote: The GPS lady (who I've named Beatrice, because she's the Devil's advocate) nearly sent me down a one-way street. I swear, if I hadn't double-checked, I'd probably still be circling some residential neighborhood. I've made peace that Beatrice and I fight.
2:00 PM - 2:30 PM: Check-in and the First Impression: Ugh, the check-in. The friendly, but slightly… vacuous smile of the desk clerk. The overwhelming smell of… well, I don't know what. But definitely, something. Standard hotel smell is the only correct answer. I got my key and it immediately felt like a burden. The key. The weight of my impending solitude. I need a snack.
2:30 PM - 3:30 PM: The Room Reveal (and the Interior Design Debacle): The moment of truth. Opening the door. Deep breaths. The room…it was…well, it was a room. Functional. Cleanish. The kind of place where you feel immediately compelled to wipe down every surface. Oh, and the lighting! Fluorescent, soul-sucking, and unflattering. Honestly, it made me look like a pale, slightly grumpy goblin. * Observation: Okay, that "kitchenette" is what I'd consider bare-bones minimalism. I have like…a mini-fridge and a microwave. I'm officially living the bachelor life.
3:30 PM - 4:30 PM: Pizza Reconnaissance (My First Quest): Seriously. Pizza. It's the reason I'm alive. Right? I Googled, Yelp'd, and frantically scoured online reviews. The pressure was immense. My pizza-hungry soul was at stake. I settled on a place called "That's Amore" because the name was delightfully cheesy.
4:30 PM - 5:30 PM: Pizza Acquisition (and the Emotional Rollercoaster): Okay, so driving was fine. Ordering was easy. The moment they handed me the pizza box…the anticipation. THE SMELL. I nearly wept. Back at the hotel, I made a beeline for the mini-fridge. * Quirk: I swear, eating pizza in a hotel room is an inherently lonely, yet incredibly satisfying experience. The only judgement is from the pizza itself. (Verdict: it was good. But not great. 7/10.) I gave it a decent rating, and it's the best I'm getting in a hotel.
5:30 PM - 7:00 PM: Pizza Consumption and Existential Dread (The Meatiest Section): This is where it gets messy. I ate. I watched some incredibly bad TV. The news. A documentary about…I don’t even remember. I started thinking about the meaning of life. Why am I here? What's my purpose? Is there enough cheese on earth? (Probably not.) I spiraled. The pizza was gone. Just… gone. And I still had a whole evening to fill. This is a problem. * Messy Rambles: I think if I wrote a book about pizza, it would be a multi-volume epic. Every pizza slice would have a backstory. I should do that. But also… I don't want to get too weird.
7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: The Walk of Shame (And a Little Retail Therapy): I needed to move. Needed sunlight. Needed something other than the soul-crushing fluorescent lights of my room. I walked. Just walked around the lot a little, I think I needed to go to the dollar store. Bought some chips and a magazine and some candy. I'm an adult.
9:00 PM - 10:00 PM: Room Retreat and the Netflix Abyss: Back in the room. More Netflix. More… emptiness. I felt like a husk. I was the husk.
10:00 PM: Bedtime (Or Trying To): Tried to sleep, but the hotel hallway noise was the worst. Someone was stomping around the halls. Eventually, I took two Tylenol PM's.
Day 2: Attempts at Functionality and the Quest for Serenity (Spoiler Alert: Doesn't Happen)
- 7:00 AM: Wake-Up (Or Being Woken): My internal clock is broken from the pizza and Netflix binge.
- 8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: The "Complimentary" Breakfast (Or Despair with a Side of Cereal): Continental breakfast is a trap. The sad, pre-packaged danishes. The lukewarm coffee. The… everything just…feels wrong. * Opinion: I hate continental breakfast. It's the ultimate symbol of uninspired travel. I think I'm just gonna skip it tomorrow.
- 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM: The "Productive" Hours (or Wandering Around Frederick): I told myself I'd be productive. I'd get work done. But instead, I drove aimlessly around Frederick. Found a park. Sat. Smelled the air. I need a purpose. * Observation: It's actually kind of pretty around here. There's a nice canal. Old buildings. I'm sure someone would classify this as charming.
- 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Lunch (Pizza Redux?): I wanted pizza again. I'm getting close to becoming unhealthy. But I refrained. I told myself I needed to try different things. I found a sandwich shop. (It wasn't very good. Regret. Regret.)
- 1:00 PM - 4:00 PM: The Desperate Google Session (What Else is There to do in Frederick?): I googled. I stalked tourism websites. I was on a mission. I felt like I was going to die of boredom.
- 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM: The History Museum (Or Pretending to be Educated): The museum. The exhibits. I feigned interest. I got bored. I was pretending.
- 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Back to the Room (And the Embrace of Solitude): Back to my prison. Back to the fluorescent lights. Back to Netflix.
- 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Pizza Decision - Part 2! (The Internal Debate): Should I? Should I not? I debated. I paced. I agonized.
- 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Pizza Triumph (Or, Yes, Pizza Again): I did it. I ordered more pizza from a new place. Yes. * Emotional Reaction: Glorious. Amazing. Perfect.
- 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM: The Netflix Abyss Returns: Same as last night. More shows. More nothing. I feel like I'm melting.
- 10:00 PM: Bedtime… (Maybe): Maybe a book this time. Or maybe…just more TV.
- 10:30 PM: Nope: I'm scrolling, just like I said I wouldn't.
Day 3: Escape and The Long Breath of Freedom
- 7:00 AM: Wake-up. (Again, Way Too Early): I swear, this hotel is a time vortex. I was looking for a good breakfast.
- 8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: Breakfast Round 2 (I skipped it, let's be honest): I knew I should probably eat, but I was going to eat at home.
- 9:00 AM: Checkout. Freedom!: Get out of this place. Get out of this town. Get back to my life.
- 9:30 PM - 10:30 PM: Leave! Long Drive Home. The Road trip is the only joy I have.
Epilogue:
This was…an experience. The WoodSpring Suites? Fine. Frederick? Undecided. Me? Still on a quest for the perfect pizza and a less-empty heart. Maybe
Fairfield Inn & Suites Atmore: Your Dream Atmore, AL Getaway Awaits!
So... Where *IS* This WoodSpring Suites Thing, Anyway? And Is it "Escape" material?
Okay, first things first: Frederick, Maryland. It’s… well, it's in Maryland. Close to… things. Like, the I-70. Hence the name. "Escape"? Haha! That depends on your definition of "escape." Are you escaping the crushing weight of existence? Maybe. Are you escaping a screaming toddler on a road trip? Possibly. Are you expecting a luxury resort with a spa? Honey, *no*. But hey, it's got walls, a roof, and hopefully, a functioning air conditioner. That's a win in my book, sometimes.
The Rooms... What's the Deal? Are They... Cleanish? (I'm a germaphobe with PTSD from a Motel 6 in Akron…)
Alright, deep breaths. Germaphobe, I get it. Look, WoodSpring Suites is… *utilitarian*. Like, think "government surplus furniture." The rooms are… functional. Cleanliness? Let's just say you'll want to bring your own Clorox wipes. I've seen worse (that Akron Motel 6 haunts me nightly), and I've seen better (I once stayed in a palace – don't get me started). Here’s a pro-tip: inspect the sheets. REALLY inspect them. Don't be afraid to ask for fresh ones. And for the love of all that is holy, double-check the bathroom. Honestly, the last time I was there, I found… well, let's just say a *trace* of the previous occupant. Let's leave it at that, shall we?
Kitchenettes - A Savior, or a Source of Utter Misery?
Okay, kitchenette. This is where things get REAL. It's either a glorious opportunity to make your own ramen noodles (fancy!) or a heartbreaking reminder of your limited culinary skills. The good: fridge. The bad: the "stove" may be a hotplate from the stone age. The utterly depressing: the microwave. I’ve microwaved things in there that I’d rather not talk about. Let's just say, it involved leftover Thanksgiving turkey, and the smell lingered for days. Bring your own spatula. And maybe a Hazmat suit. Okay, maybe that's a bit dramatic, but pack your own dish soap, people. Just a thought.
The Staff... Are They Trying to Kill Me (with Kindness or Neglect)?
This is a gamble. Sometimes, you get a sweet, helpful soul who's seen more crap than a toilet bowl cleaner factory. Other times... well, let's just say communication can be a challenge. English may or may not be their first (or even second) language. Be patient. Be polite. And for heaven's sake, *tip*. A little kindness goes a long way. Especially if you desperately need extra towels at 3 AM. I once needed to ask for an extra blanket at 2:30am. The helpful receptionist asked if she could go with me. I could not believe it. She was, like, my savior.
Ah, Parking. Let’s Talk About the Parking Situation, Shall We? Are We Talking Thunderdome?
Parking. Oh, the parking. It's usually… adequate. Sometimes, it's a free-for-all. Sometimes, you'll get a spot practically at the front door. Sometimes, you'll circle for twenty minutes, cursing the fates and the person who decided to park their eighteen-wheeler there. I once witnessed a full-blown parking lot tantrum. (I have to admit, I felt a little bit of kinship with the guy.) Arrive early, and pray to the parking gods. Seriously, pray.
Is There WIFI, at Least? Because I Need to Tweet About My Existential Dread.
Yes. There is Wi-Fi. It’s… there. I’m not promising lightning-fast speeds, okay? You might be better off tethering to your phone. Honestly, depending on your needs, don't bring your most powerful laptop, just your tablet. You know, a Kindle Fire is great as it is. Consider yourself warned. But hey, at least you can update your social media about the current state of the world (and your room). God speed.
The Breakfast… Just Tell Me About The Breakfast
Breakfast? (Sniffs the air suspiciously). Okay, look, breakfast is a *stretch*. You *might* get some sad packaged pastries, *maybe* some instant oatmeal, and coffee that tastes faintly of despair. Don’t go expecting a gourmet experience. Honestly, plan on eating something… elsewhere. Pack a granola bar, a banana, and a healthy dose of low expectations. Consider this a 'bring your own breakfast' situation. I once saw a woman bring her own waffle maker. That's dedication, right there.
Okay, Fine. But... What’s RIGHT Outside the Hotel? Any Decent Restaurants/Things to Do?
I-70, remember? You're close to the highway. This means… chain restaurants. Fast food. Gas stations. It's not exactly a foodie paradise. However, Frederick itself isn't so bad. You can drive into town (which, depending on traffic, could take forever – welcome to the joys of Maryland driving), and find some decent restaurants and shops. Search for restaurants! I would recommend the city. (I'm not affiliated... just a suggestion from a traveler like you.) Embrace the adventure, and you might just stumble upon something interesting! Or, you know, at least a decent burger.
Alright, Last Question: Would You Stay Here Again? (Be Honest!)
Okay, fine. Would I stay here again? Look, it depends. Am I desperate? Yes. Do I value a clean room and a spa? Absolutely not. Am I on a budget? Probably. So, yeah… probably. It’s a place to lay your head, right? It’s a functional, no-frills experience. It’s not glamorous. It's not luxurious. But it *is* a roof over your head, a bed to collapse into, and a chance to escape the world, even if just for a night. And sometimes, that’s all you need. Just… bring the Clorox wipes. And maybe some wine. You'll need it.
Post a Comment for "Escape to Comfort: WoodSpring Suites Frederick I-70 - Your MD Getaway!"